Amelie is very lucky to have a cousin that lives down the road who is close to her in age. They are a year apart and as such are very close, they’re like sisters, which inevitably means fighting over toys, winding each other up but of course cuddles!
It occurred to me recently as they both rolled around on the grass giggling like maniacs how much toddlers can often act like they’re drunk. Not your paralytic / being sick drunks, but the ones who sometimes like me have had
a bottle or two of wine a few drinks and suddenly think they are comedians / a pro-dancer / develop a super natural confidence!
*Before I start a little disclaimer – this is all for a giggle and my toddler is never actually drunk!*
So now that’s sorted here are some of the ways my toddler has reminded me of being drunk recently…
Give me food, any food
You know when you’ve had a good night out and manage to stumble home only to realise you are starving and I mean starving like you haven’t eaten for a month. A salad won’t do, you need a bacon sandwich / cheese on toast, basically anything that can be grilled AKA a potential fire hazard. The more dangerous the meal the better because you are inevitably going to fall asleep on the sofa whilst your sausages cook.
Well toddlers are the same. You get in from a day out and they are starving. Obviously they can’t wait for your healthy home cooked meal so they raid every cupboard looking for food, any food. That packet of breadsticks you really should have thrown away two months ago – they want them and they want them NOW. So of course, to avoid a potential over tired tantrum you give in and give them what they want and your lovingly cooked meal – in the bin.
We all have that friend when we’re out, they tell you they are off to the toilets and they’re not seen again until the next day. Now generally toddlers don’t go vanishing in bars but they do have an amazing ability to make a break for freedom whenever you are in a remotely busy place. A shopping centre, market, theme park – anywhere there are crowds of people. They see their opportunity and they run like you’ve never seen them run before…
They see me rollin’
I am a bit of a liability when drunk, to be honest I’m surprised I’ve never broken anything because given me a few drinks and my legs turn to jelly.
Toddlers are the same, theyre not fuelled by alcohol, usually by tiredness. Suddenly they wobble all over the place, tables are the right height for their heads and you spend the day shouting ‘Amelie, watch for that table’, ‘Amelie look where you’re going’.
Sound like a little one you know?
Jumping for joy to songs
We went to The Medicine Gardens last week for their Spring Fayre and they had live music. Amelie and her cousin immediately took to the floor and were jumping up and down, crawling towards the stage and generally loving life!
It’s like being at a gig or a nightclub (do they even exist anymore) when you’ve had a few drinks; you’re jumping for joy, you’re desperate to be at the front – because hey that’s where the cool kids are and you think you are an extra from dirty dancing!! Definitely just like toddlers.
Up and down like a yo-yo
I’ll admit it, my toddler scares me. I often don’t know what kind of mood or response I’ll get from her – a bit like someone that is drunk, are they going to laugh or cry, who knows?!
Amelie can wake up from naps and either want a lovely long cuddle or she can wake up and tell me to leave the room. I just don’t know what to do!!!
It’s not just me that thinks all of the above, I asked some fellow bloggers what they thought and I’m not alone…
Here are some of their thoughts:
Toddler bed time in our household typically involves a rollercoaster of emotions. Often there’s spilt drinks, a naked dash across the landing, not uncommonly tears and occasionally if it’s really gone badly; vomit. I could be describing Saturday night in Wetherspoons. One minute she’s bouncing on the bed with manic laughter, the next she’s wailing over the ice cream she has lost (which never existed). Suddenly she’s declaring her undying love and stroking my face “awww mummmmeeee love you mummmmeee” and then she is putting a nappy on her head and the jumping begins again. Eventually she will pass out, leaving the carnage in her wake. Not at all reminiscent of the nights of of her Mother circa 2005….
Jo from www.intrepidbebe.com
I have often thought kids are like drunk people! Some days I think they hide it well and others they truly show their depths of Toddlerholicism. One minute they will be stood upright and the next they’re on the floor. I swear they are a real life Only Falls and Horses sketch. Plus any little piece of music that comes on the TV makes them ‘catch the rhythm’. And don’t you dare tell them they a) can’t sing or b) don’t know the words….. you’ll start a fight. I’m never too sure if I should be proud of their ‘can do’ attitude to dancing and singing. Or ashamed of the fact that they remind me of my former 22 year old self in a club at 2 am after one (or a few) too many luminous blue delights. `
Kirsty from www.winnettes.com
When my little boy and his best mate were 2, they went through a phase of hiding in a different room, getting naked and giggling as they ran in to find us, saying ‘we go ‘wimming!’ and jumping on the ground, pretending to swim totally starkers and not giving a flying fook about anyone else. Having the best time ever. There’s something about the total lack of self-consciousness and uncontrollable laughter that reminds me of pissed grown ups. That and the fact that my bloke mates at uni enjoyed getting naked for no reason in public.
(I also think it’s the hands up high for balance and staggering that makes any 1 – 2 year old look drunk! Hilarious.)