Putting myself out there

I love blogging, I love Instagram and I’m falling in love with Twitter and vlogging.

Blogs have been a big part of my life since Nick proposed in August 2011. I absolutely loved blogs like rockmywedding and they were a big inspiration for me when planning of our wedding. I love the tone and feel of blogs, it’s just normal people sharing their ideas and tips and something really drew me into that world.

When I became a Mummy without really thinking about it I started reading blogs from other Mums and found it a great way to get advice or see what others were doing, because we’re all winging it aren’t we?! I didn’t really use Instagram when Amelie was a baby but I found it when I was pregnant with Evie and loved the inspirational community (and have spent a fortune on things I’ve found on IG)!!

So with a bit of a push from my sister and a niggling feeling that I would love to join the community and share my experiences I took the plunge and started Surrey Mama in December 2016. I’m only a few months in and to be honest I can’t really imagine life without it so I started to question why on earth didn’t I do this all sooner…

The easy answer to all of that is confidence.

I’m one of those people that from the outside seems super confident; I’m a chatty kind of girl, I’m always one to strike up a conversation and my favourite part of my job pre-children was presenting and having relationships with clients. Underneath the confident exterior however is a different person.

I’ve always struggled with confidence and thinking about it now I think that stemmed from my childhood and not really being accepted for who I was. I’m not a naturally skinny person, I have curves and I am never going to be super skinny, it’s taken me a while but I am OK with that. Throughout my school years though I wasn’t and the people around me weren’t either. If I’m honest I really hated school, I never really felt like I fitted into a friendship group and that was probably the start or catalyst for my low self esteem and confidence.

Everything changed when I went to University and then eventually to work. I kind of found my niche in marketing and after a placement year in a marketing role I found a great job at a media agency in London which I loved. I’ve been working in media for over 10 years now and I’ve really enjoyed that career and felt like I found something I was good at.

Through achievements at work and progressing in my career I definitely started to feel more confident in my ability but bubbling under the surface was and is that little voice ‘what will they think of me’, ‘I really hope that was good enough’, ‘do they think I am good enough’?

And I think that’s what has held me back doing this until now; I’ve been worried about what my acquaintances on Facebook might think, I was worried about what my work colleagues might think and I was worried about what my friends and family would think.

But there is a part of me now that cares a little less and that’s probably because I’m now a mummy, my girls absolutely come first and I have less time to worry! My family are my number one priority and as long as they are happy with what I’m doing then I am – I ran this blog post past Nick as I know he’ll give me his honest opinion.

If people don’t like this or what I post then that’s fine – we’re all different and I don’t expect everyone to love me or what I write. Don’t get me wrong, every time I hit that share or publish button there is a part of me that feels really sick but I am learning to try and ignore that a little more than I have been. Life is too short to worry about what people think, so although that little voice will inevitably keep questioning me, I am here, I am happy doing what I am doing and that is enough for me and if people like what I am doing then I’m even happier.

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Does anyone else feel the same about blogging and vlogging? How do you deal with that nervous feeling when you publish something?

Sarah xx

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77 thoughts on “Putting myself out there

  1. Paola says:

    A very candid piece Sarah. It’s such a shame experiences, negative ones, shape who we become. Well done to you for having the confidence to believe in what you can achieve! Your girls will learn so much from your example xx

    Liked by 1 person

  2. Angela Watling says:

    A wonderful post and I can completely relate to this. I was ‘chubby’ at school and it massively affected my confidence. I never had any second thoughts about starting my blog but I have had my website for almost 10 years (its changed names and found new focus is that time) and still don’t feel confident to actively share it with people I know in real life!

    Like you though, since becoming a mum I am finding more confidence so I am not just putting on a facade. Motherhood definite lends perspective.

    I only found your blog last week but already love it! So keep up the great work and know that whatever you write, there will be others out there in the same boat! xx

    Liked by 1 person

    • sarahsurreymama says:

      I totally agree becoming a mother definitely has changed my views, things that felt like they really mattered before really didn’t and don’t anymore… Thanks so much, really glad you’re enjoying it, it’s so nice to hear! Xx

      Liked by 1 person

  3. Winnettes says:

    I can relate to this. It does get easier the more you do it. I think the really personal ones are the most nerve wracking and the hardest to push publish for. I started vlogging this year to add to my repertoire. It’s been really hard to get used to but it is another thing that seems to get easier each time x

    Liked by 1 person

  4. Alana - Burnished Chaos says:

    I can definitely relate to this. I’m not a confident person at all and am extremely shy. The main thing that helped me push past it all and press publish in the beginning was that no-one in my real life (other than my husband and my parents) knew about my blog, so the only people reading were complete strangers I’d never have to come face to face with. One thing I didn’t envision was just how friendly and supportive the blogging community would be and they have given me so much more confidence than I’ve ever had in my life.
    #Mg

    Liked by 1 person

  5. Tubbs says:

    I can relate to this. Putting yourself out there on the big old Internet is really nerve-wracking as you never quite know how peopler going to react. The Blogging community is so welcoming though, it’s lovely. Lovely to meet you #mg

    Like

  6. tootingmama says:

    I can relate too. I very rarely publish pictures of myself and only pictures of my kids where they cannot be identified. The thought of vlogging just galls me – I don’t think I could do that! So great on you! Blogging, vlogging, gramming takes us out of our comfort zone and that’s got to be a good thing!!! #MarvMondays

    Liked by 1 person

  7. mackenzieglanville says:

    wonderfully honest post! I can relate totally. People always assume I am so confident, even at school, but I have always been filled with self doubt. When I first shared my writing I was shaking, but my confidence has grown. I am finally in place where I don’t worry as much about others opinions, I am more comfortable being me. #mg

    Liked by 1 person

  8. VirtuallyAllSorts says:

    Confidence is a big thing when blogging/vlogging. Without wanting to sound arrogant, I get excited more than nervous when I publish or do anything on social media. I’ve kind of just learnt to think that if my real life friends and family see it, then that’s actually good! Good luck with your blogging/vlogging, look forward to seeing more of you! #mg

    Liked by 1 person

  9. justsayingmum says:

    oh welcome to the world of blogging! I’m a year in and am loving it! So interesting you mention the fear on publishing – my blog the week is a very similar subject – I still get that queasy feeling on pressing publish – not sure if it will ever go away. I’m hoping it’s because we are pleased with what we have written and hope that it received well. Good luck with the process my lovely and well done for taking that huge brave step – you’ll love it! #FamilyFun

    Liked by 1 person

  10. EssexKate says:

    A surprising number of bloggers don’t push posts to friends and family. I think you can be so open on your blog and that’s easy if people only know you though your blog, but for others they may never have seen that side of you before. #SundayBest

    Liked by 1 person

  11. Aleena Brown says:

    I literally could have written every word of this. I’m so glad I read this today, I’ve been having a bit of a confidence relapse this week, but this has kind of ‘sorted me out’ so to speak! #bigpinklink

    Liked by 1 person

  12. Lisa Pomerantz says:

    I thankfully have fully given up what people think and realized that my thinking, my voice, and my writing has value — even if it is just to me. My skin has thickened enough to not care. What I have found in that confidence of thick skin, is people enjoy what I am doing. May the same happen for you, my friend! #mg xo

    Liked by 1 person

  13. thismumslife says:

    I love your honesty, and also applaud you for really putting yourself out there, despite your misgivings and lack of confidence!! It’ll be a lovely inspiration for your girls, that you found the confidence to really go for it! I still haven’t told my friends and family (apart from my husband) that I blog, pretty much for the same reasons as you! I’ve been saying for about a year now that I’ll ‘come out,’ but I still haven’t, so I think that’s my inner self telling me that I’m just not ready, so I probably never will… I always worry when I hit publish-mainly that people won’t get the humour, and will take it all the wrong way, and that people will think I’m a bad parent for some of the controversial things I’ve said. Funnily enough, my most controversial posts have had the best response, and then I got trolled for the one that I thought was the most least likely to be trolled post ever-it was very odd!! But there will always be the odd ones out there, and like you say, they can just move along!!
    #bigpinklink

    Liked by 1 person

  14. tammymum says:

    I can totally relate. I remember the first time I get publish, it was such a New and It of character thing for me to do – publish something about me and our life but I almost didn’t care. I was putting myself out their regardless. I think you have a great attitude toward it! Thanks for joining us at #familyfun

    Liked by 1 person

  15. The Pramshed says:

    Lovely post hun, and I know how you feel about blogging, and vlogging (so brave). Well done for taking the plunge. I love how blogging alows you to find part of yourself that you didn’t really know existed. Keep up the good work and thanks first linking up at #fortheloveofBLOG. Claire x

    Liked by 1 person

  16. RaisieBay says:

    Welcome to the world of blogging I’m so glad you decided to take that step. I’ve been blogging for years now and I still get nervous when I publish something, especially when it’s personal. It’s hard when you lack confidence but I’m sure yours will build up. Good luck on your journey, I hope your blogging adventure brings you many new friends and a new found confidence x
    #blogcrush

    Like

  17. susielhawes says:

    Yes I can relate. I’ve been the most nervous about personal ones, or ones to do with my previous anxieties. I feel less nervous about the recipes I do! I think blogging is wonderful for increasing confidence and well done you on vlogging, i’m not doing that (yet) and actually used to read the news live on radio but the thought of being on camera scares me! xx #bigpinklink

    Liked by 1 person

  18. Wendy says:

    This is a wonderfully honest post. I struggle still with the fear when publishing a new post and I am almost 2 years into blogging! I too wish I had had the confidence to start my blog early as the blogging community is so lovely, there really was nothing to be scared of. Glad you are enjoying it all! Thanks for linking up with us at #BlogCrush xx

    Liked by 1 person

  19. Lucy At Home says:

    Hurray! Go you! I’ve also found a lot of confidence from blogging – these people come and read my blog because they WANT to, not because they feel they should. I’m so glad you’re enjoying being a part of this fab community. And you’re doing a great job (especially as someone chose this post to add to the #blogcrush linky this week – congratulations!)

    #blogcrush

    Liked by 1 person

  20. Wave to Mummy says:

    Well done for taking that step and doing what you want, not what others (may) want. I’ve been criticised over my blog but vast majority of the feedback has been very positive. You can never please everyone so you shouldn’t even try!

    Liked by 1 person

  21. Laura @ Dot Makes 4 says:

    Welcome to the wonderful world of blogging!
    This is a great, honest post 🙂
    I can honestly say that I still struggle with my confidence, especially just after I hit publish and I’ve been writing for two years! Sometimes, I still get my mum or hubby to read some of my posts before I write them up!

    #KCACOLS

    Liked by 1 person

    • sarahsurreymama says:

      Thank you! I still ask someone to read them now as well, just to check I’m not being totally silly/sound like a child! I think it’ll always be a bit nerve wracking won’t it, especially on more honest posts xx

      Like

  22. Tracey Bowden says:

    I love this post! I feel like that all the time. I’ve been blogging for 3 years now and still feel nervous when I hit publish but I love writing and if people read it great if they don’t then no big deal really. I just still do what I love! #kcacols

    Liked by 1 person

  23. Emma Me and B Make Tea says:

    can relate a lot to this. although I don’t really post anything overly debateable lol so I don’t overly worry about publishing stuff. being a mum has definitely made me care less about what people think. and then a tonne MORE about what other people think – re being a mum! cant win! #KCACOLS

    Liked by 1 person

  24. Mrs Lighty says:

    Yes!!!! Me!!! I totally, totally relate to this. Nearly two years in and that sick feeling hasn’t subsided when I hit publish!! I’m the same: didn’t really like school, found my path a bit when I started work and an easily do things like present but underneath that confidence is complete self doubt. Thank you so much for linking this up to #DreamTeam, I love it! 🙂

    Liked by 1 person

  25. lycrawidow says:

    I’ve not yet ventured in to Vlogging (mainly because I’m a technophobe and do everything from my phone rather than a laptop!) but reading your blogs I can relate to so much! I’ve yet to find my career Niche, and I’m nearly 30! You keep posting mama! #Dreamteam

    Liked by 1 person

  26. Ordinary Hopes says:

    I am not brave enough for Vlogging! I can write whilst in my pyjamas late at night. I get worried after almost every post. Putting yourself out there is hard anyway and my blog, being campaign related, isn’t going to be welcomed by everyone. So it can be hard.

    Thanks for joining #KCACOLS.

    Liked by 1 person

  27. thetaleofmummyhood says:

    I’ve definitely found more confidence since having children. I would never have dared bare all on my blog prior to having them but now I love it! The blogging world is amazing, I’m so glad I’m a part of it! Thanks so much for linking up to #Blogstravaganza, hope to see you again next week xx

    Liked by 1 person

  28. aliduke79hotmailcom says:

    It is great that your confidence is growing. I find mine is bit by bit through blogging and vlogging. And yes I get that sick feeling when hitting publish. No I don’t know how to deal with it lol.
    #KCACOLS

    Liked by 1 person

  29. Amie Richards says:

    I love blogging and am trying to find the confidence to start vlogging properly but I’m feeling to nervous if what people think of me and how different I sound and whether I look okay. Confidence has always been something I’ve struggled with but I agree with children completely changing that.
    Thanks so much for linking up at #KCACOLS. Hope you come back again next Sunday

    Liked by 1 person

  30. For the love of jars (@4theloveofjars) says:

    It’s amazing how much your outlook changes when you become a parent. Before being a Mum I would have hated standing up in front of people and talking but now I am quite at home with public speaking. I’ve learnt not to care what people think and it’s purely down to that deep feeling of knowing that nothing matters more than my family. #postsfromtheheart

    Liked by 1 person

  31. Scandi Mummy says:

    I think most can relate but it does get easier the more you do it. I love it and I’ve seen such progress and I’ve learned so much from blogging/vlogging which spurs me on #KCACOLS

    Nadia x

    Liked by 1 person

  32. Mummy Times Two says:

    I get this totally, and it’s one of the biggest reasons that I still blog anonymously. I wonder if one day I will be brave enough to wake up and tell the world, I guess maybe at the point where I feel that my blog is successful (whatever that means). Thank you so much for making me feel as though my insecurities are shared and for joining us at #PostsFromTheHeart

    Liked by 1 person

  33. mummuddlingthrough says:

    As I approach my two year blog birthday I STILL try and keep the mindset ‘write like no ones reading’ and I’m super cagey about sharing my blog URL with my real life network (especially the more distant ones).
    Ultimately, blogging can and will feel a bit weird at times, but strangely that’s all part of the excitement. A popular post normally gives you the spur you need to keep going!
    Thanks for linking to #coolmumclub

    Liked by 1 person

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