Lifestyle Parenting

Putting myself out there

March 3, 2017

I love blogging, I love Instagram and I’m falling in love with Twitter and vlogging.

Blogs have been a big part of my life since Nick proposed in August 2011. I absolutely loved blogs like rockmywedding and they were a big inspiration for me when planning of our wedding. I love the tone and feel of blogs, it’s just normal people sharing their ideas and tips and something really drew me into that world.

When I became a Mummy without really thinking about it I started reading blogs from other Mums and found it a great way to get advice or see what others were doing, because we’re all winging it aren’t we?! I didn’t really use Instagram when Amelie was a baby but I found it when I was pregnant with Evie and loved the inspirational community (and have spent a fortune on things I’ve found on IG)!!

So with a bit of a push from my sister and a niggling feeling that I would love to join the community and share my experiences I took the plunge and started Surrey Mama in December 2016. I’m only a few months in and to be honest I can’t really imagine life without it so I started to question why on earth didn’t I do this all sooner…

The easy answer to all of that is confidence.

I’m one of those people that from the outside seems super confident; I’m a chatty kind of girl, I’m always one to strike up a conversation and my favourite part of my job pre-children was presenting and having relationships with clients. Underneath the confident exterior however is a different person.

I’ve always struggled with confidence and thinking about it now I think that stemmed from my childhood and not really being accepted for who I was. I’m not a naturally skinny person, I have curves and I am never going to be super skinny, it’s taken me a while but I am OK with that. Throughout my school years though I wasn’t and the people around me weren’t either. If I’m honest I really hated school, I never really felt like I fitted into a friendship group and that was probably the start or catalyst for my low self esteem and confidence.

Everything changed when I went to University and then eventually to work. I kind of found my niche in marketing and after a placement year in a marketing role I found a great job at a media agency in London which I loved. I’ve been working in media for over 10 years now and I’ve really enjoyed that career and felt like I found something I was good at.

Through achievements at work and progressing in my career I definitely started to feel more confident in my ability but bubbling under the surface was and is that little voice ‘what will they think of me’, ‘I really hope that was good enough’, ‘do they think I am good enough’?

And I think that’s what has held me back doing this until now; I’ve been worried about what my acquaintances on Facebook might think, I was worried about what my work colleagues might think and I was worried about what my friends and family would think.

But there is a part of me now that cares a little less and that’s probably because I’m now a mummy, my girls absolutely come first and I have less time to worry! My family are my number one priority and as long as they are happy with what I’m doing then I am – I ran this blog post past Nick as I know he’ll give me his honest opinion.

If people don’t like this or what I post then that’s fine – we’re all different and I don’t expect everyone to love me or what I write. Don’t get me wrong, every time I hit that share or publish button there is a part of me that feels really sick but I am learning to try and ignore that a little more than I have been. Life is too short to worry about what people think, so although that little voice will inevitably keep questioning me, I am here, I am happy doing what I am doing and that is enough for me and if people like what I am doing then I’m even happier.

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Does anyone else feel the same about blogging and vlogging? How do you deal with that nervous feeling when you publish something?

Sarah xx

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77 Comments

  • Reply Paola March 5, 2017 at 9:02 pm

    A very candid piece Sarah. It’s such a shame experiences, negative ones, shape who we become. Well done to you for having the confidence to believe in what you can achieve! Your girls will learn so much from your example xx

  • Reply Angela Watling March 5, 2017 at 9:34 pm

    A wonderful post and I can completely relate to this. I was ‘chubby’ at school and it massively affected my confidence. I never had any second thoughts about starting my blog but I have had my website for almost 10 years (its changed names and found new focus is that time) and still don’t feel confident to actively share it with people I know in real life!

    Like you though, since becoming a mum I am finding more confidence so I am not just putting on a facade. Motherhood definite lends perspective.

    I only found your blog last week but already love it! So keep up the great work and know that whatever you write, there will be others out there in the same boat! xx

    • Reply sarahsurreymama March 5, 2017 at 9:40 pm

      I totally agree becoming a mother definitely has changed my views, things that felt like they really mattered before really didn’t and don’t anymore… Thanks so much, really glad you’re enjoying it, it’s so nice to hear! Xx

  • Reply Winnettes March 5, 2017 at 11:11 pm

    I can relate to this. It does get easier the more you do it. I think the really personal ones are the most nerve wracking and the hardest to push publish for. I started vlogging this year to add to my repertoire. It’s been really hard to get used to but it is another thing that seems to get easier each time x

    • Reply sarahsurreymama March 6, 2017 at 6:35 pm

      You’re right I definitely had more nerves about this one. Good to hear vlogging gets easier each time xx

  • Reply Alana - Burnished Chaos March 6, 2017 at 8:07 pm

    I can definitely relate to this. I’m not a confident person at all and am extremely shy. The main thing that helped me push past it all and press publish in the beginning was that no-one in my real life (other than my husband and my parents) knew about my blog, so the only people reading were complete strangers I’d never have to come face to face with. One thing I didn’t envision was just how friendly and supportive the blogging community would be and they have given me so much more confidence than I’ve ever had in my life.
    #Mg

    • Reply sarahsurreymama March 7, 2017 at 7:02 pm

      They really are aren’t they. I was the same I didn’t tell anyone other than my husband and family until I was a little more confident… Xx

  • Reply Tubbs March 6, 2017 at 9:32 pm

    I can relate to this. Putting yourself out there on the big old Internet is really nerve-wracking as you never quite know how peopler going to react. The Blogging community is so welcoming though, it’s lovely. Lovely to meet you #mg

    • Reply sarahsurreymama March 7, 2017 at 10:13 pm

      Lovely to meet you as well. It really is nerve wracking but the more you do it the easier I think. You’re right the blogging community is amazing! Xx

  • Reply tootingmama March 7, 2017 at 8:47 am

    I can relate too. I very rarely publish pictures of myself and only pictures of my kids where they cannot be identified. The thought of vlogging just galls me – I don’t think I could do that! So great on you! Blogging, vlogging, gramming takes us out of our comfort zone and that’s got to be a good thing!!! #MarvMondays

    • Reply sarahsurreymama March 7, 2017 at 10:13 pm

      It does and I think you’re right, I’ve loved doing it all and probably because I’m pushing myself into something new xx

  • Reply Liane March 7, 2017 at 4:51 pm

    I love this! I’m the same about people knowing about my blog so I totally get where you’re coming from! #MarvMondays

  • Reply mackenzieglanville March 8, 2017 at 7:38 am

    wonderfully honest post! I can relate totally. People always assume I am so confident, even at school, but I have always been filled with self doubt. When I first shared my writing I was shaking, but my confidence has grown. I am finally in place where I don’t worry as much about others opinions, I am more comfortable being me. #mg

    • Reply sarahsurreymama March 8, 2017 at 10:29 pm

      Thanks so much. Good to know it’s not just me and that you have grown in confidence by doing what you do x

  • Reply VirtuallyAllSorts March 8, 2017 at 9:10 am

    Confidence is a big thing when blogging/vlogging. Without wanting to sound arrogant, I get excited more than nervous when I publish or do anything on social media. I’ve kind of just learnt to think that if my real life friends and family see it, then that’s actually good! Good luck with your blogging/vlogging, look forward to seeing more of you! #mg

    • Reply sarahsurreymama March 8, 2017 at 10:28 pm

      Thanks very much. Not arrogant at all, I think that’s a good feeling as you are proud of what you’ve produced x

  • Reply justsayingmum March 8, 2017 at 9:20 am

    oh welcome to the world of blogging! I’m a year in and am loving it! So interesting you mention the fear on publishing – my blog the week is a very similar subject – I still get that queasy feeling on pressing publish – not sure if it will ever go away. I’m hoping it’s because we are pleased with what we have written and hope that it received well. Good luck with the process my lovely and well done for taking that huge brave step – you’ll love it! #FamilyFun

    • Reply sarahsurreymama March 8, 2017 at 10:27 pm

      Thank you☺️ So interesting to hear it’s not just me, I don’t think it’ll ever go away but sure it’ll get easier… Thank you I’m enjoying it so far x

  • Reply EssexKate March 8, 2017 at 10:20 am

    A surprising number of bloggers don’t push posts to friends and family. I think you can be so open on your blog and that’s easy if people only know you though your blog, but for others they may never have seen that side of you before. #SundayBest

    • Reply sarahsurreymama March 8, 2017 at 10:26 pm

      Yes definitely, we open up about such personal things. I didn’t realise how many until now felt the same x

  • Reply Aleena Brown March 9, 2017 at 12:17 am

    I literally could have written every word of this. I’m so glad I read this today, I’ve been having a bit of a confidence relapse this week, but this has kind of ‘sorted me out’ so to speak! #bigpinklink

    • Reply sarahsurreymama March 11, 2017 at 2:23 pm

      Oh good! Pleased to hear. I have confidence relapses all the time – even posting images on IG! Xx

      • Reply Aleena Brown March 11, 2017 at 10:00 pm

        I’m definitely guilty of shying away from posting images of myself, which is purely a confidence issue… xx

        • Reply sarahsurreymama March 12, 2017 at 9:10 am

          I definitely worry more when I post images of myself ? x

  • Reply Lisa Pomerantz March 9, 2017 at 11:45 am

    I thankfully have fully given up what people think and realized that my thinking, my voice, and my writing has value — even if it is just to me. My skin has thickened enough to not care. What I have found in that confidence of thick skin, is people enjoy what I am doing. May the same happen for you, my friend! #mg xo

  • Reply thismumslife March 9, 2017 at 5:52 pm

    I love your honesty, and also applaud you for really putting yourself out there, despite your misgivings and lack of confidence!! It’ll be a lovely inspiration for your girls, that you found the confidence to really go for it! I still haven’t told my friends and family (apart from my husband) that I blog, pretty much for the same reasons as you! I’ve been saying for about a year now that I’ll ‘come out,’ but I still haven’t, so I think that’s my inner self telling me that I’m just not ready, so I probably never will… I always worry when I hit publish-mainly that people won’t get the humour, and will take it all the wrong way, and that people will think I’m a bad parent for some of the controversial things I’ve said. Funnily enough, my most controversial posts have had the best response, and then I got trolled for the one that I thought was the most least likely to be trolled post ever-it was very odd!! But there will always be the odd ones out there, and like you say, they can just move along!!
    #bigpinklink

  • Reply tammymum March 9, 2017 at 8:42 pm

    I can totally relate. I remember the first time I get publish, it was such a New and It of character thing for me to do – publish something about me and our life but I almost didn’t care. I was putting myself out their regardless. I think you have a great attitude toward it! Thanks for joining us at #familyfun

  • Reply The Pramshed March 9, 2017 at 9:39 pm

    Lovely post hun, and I know how you feel about blogging, and vlogging (so brave). Well done for taking the plunge. I love how blogging alows you to find part of yourself that you didn’t really know existed. Keep up the good work and thanks first linking up at #fortheloveofBLOG. Claire x

    • Reply sarahsurreymama March 11, 2017 at 2:21 pm

      That’s so true! I didn’t realise what I was missing until I started… Thanks so much xx

  • Reply RaisieBay March 11, 2017 at 8:30 am

    Welcome to the world of blogging I’m so glad you decided to take that step. I’ve been blogging for years now and I still get nervous when I publish something, especially when it’s personal. It’s hard when you lack confidence but I’m sure yours will build up. Good luck on your journey, I hope your blogging adventure brings you many new friends and a new found confidence x
    #blogcrush

  • Reply Amy & Tots March 11, 2017 at 8:33 pm

    I still don’t know how to get over that funny feeling you get when you publish a new post. If you ever find out, let me know! #BlogCrush

  • Reply susielhawes March 12, 2017 at 7:48 pm

    Yes I can relate. I’ve been the most nervous about personal ones, or ones to do with my previous anxieties. I feel less nervous about the recipes I do! I think blogging is wonderful for increasing confidence and well done you on vlogging, i’m not doing that (yet) and actually used to read the news live on radio but the thought of being on camera scares me! xx #bigpinklink

  • Reply Wendy March 16, 2017 at 6:14 am

    This is a wonderfully honest post. I struggle still with the fear when publishing a new post and I am almost 2 years into blogging! I too wish I had had the confidence to start my blog early as the blogging community is so lovely, there really was nothing to be scared of. Glad you are enjoying it all! Thanks for linking up with us at #BlogCrush xx

    • Reply sarahsurreymama March 19, 2017 at 8:31 pm

      It really is a lovely community, I can’t believe the wonderful comments and support I have had. Thanks so much xx

  • Reply LM March 17, 2017 at 3:03 pm

    A wonderful post & I definitely relate – glad you are enjoying it & got the confidence to start blogging 🙂 #blogcrush xx

  • Reply Lisa Pomerantz March 18, 2017 at 4:49 pm

    Stopping back from #marvmondays and hoping you have heard enough to have bolstered your confidence even more. The heck with what anyone thinks! Be you, just like winnie the pooh!

    • Reply sarahsurreymama March 19, 2017 at 8:30 pm

      Everyone has been so supportive so feeling much more confident about blogging / vlogging now. Amazing how many people feel the same. Thanks for popping back xxx

  • Reply Lucy At Home March 20, 2017 at 9:47 pm

    Hurray! Go you! I’ve also found a lot of confidence from blogging – these people come and read my blog because they WANT to, not because they feel they should. I’m so glad you’re enjoying being a part of this fab community. And you’re doing a great job (especially as someone chose this post to add to the #blogcrush linky this week – congratulations!)

    #blogcrush

  • Reply Wave to Mummy March 21, 2017 at 9:04 am

    Well done for taking that step and doing what you want, not what others (may) want. I’ve been criticised over my blog but vast majority of the feedback has been very positive. You can never please everyone so you shouldn’t even try!

    • Reply sarahsurreymama March 22, 2017 at 8:41 pm

      Very true and really good advice. Thanks for reading xx

  • Reply Laura @ Dot Makes 4 March 21, 2017 at 2:18 pm

    Welcome to the wonderful world of blogging!
    This is a great, honest post 🙂
    I can honestly say that I still struggle with my confidence, especially just after I hit publish and I’ve been writing for two years! Sometimes, I still get my mum or hubby to read some of my posts before I write them up!

    #KCACOLS

    • Reply sarahsurreymama March 22, 2017 at 8:40 pm

      Thank you! I still ask someone to read them now as well, just to check I’m not being totally silly/sound like a child! I think it’ll always be a bit nerve wracking won’t it, especially on more honest posts xx

  • Reply Tracey Bowden March 24, 2017 at 1:09 pm

    I love this post! I feel like that all the time. I’ve been blogging for 3 years now and still feel nervous when I hit publish but I love writing and if people read it great if they don’t then no big deal really. I just still do what I love! #kcacols

    • Reply sarahsurreymama March 25, 2017 at 1:13 pm

      I think that’s the best way to be isn’t it! Thanks for reading xx

  • Reply Emma Me and B Make Tea March 25, 2017 at 7:51 pm

    can relate a lot to this. although I don’t really post anything overly debateable lol so I don’t overly worry about publishing stuff. being a mum has definitely made me care less about what people think. and then a tonne MORE about what other people think – re being a mum! cant win! #KCACOLS

  • Reply thesingleswan March 25, 2017 at 10:43 pm

    Love, of course you are good enough. You are great. Pen x x #blogstravaganza

  • Reply Mrs Lighty March 25, 2017 at 11:10 pm

    Yes!!!! Me!!! I totally, totally relate to this. Nearly two years in and that sick feeling hasn’t subsided when I hit publish!! I’m the same: didn’t really like school, found my path a bit when I started work and an easily do things like present but underneath that confidence is complete self doubt. Thank you so much for linking this up to #DreamTeam, I love it! 🙂

  • Reply lycrawidow March 26, 2017 at 8:08 pm

    I’ve not yet ventured in to Vlogging (mainly because I’m a technophobe and do everything from my phone rather than a laptop!) but reading your blogs I can relate to so much! I’ve yet to find my career Niche, and I’m nearly 30! You keep posting mama! #Dreamteam

  • Reply Ordinary Hopes March 26, 2017 at 10:18 pm

    I am not brave enough for Vlogging! I can write whilst in my pyjamas late at night. I get worried after almost every post. Putting yourself out there is hard anyway and my blog, being campaign related, isn’t going to be welcomed by everyone. So it can be hard.

    Thanks for joining #KCACOLS.

  • Reply thetaleofmummyhood March 27, 2017 at 6:43 am

    I’ve definitely found more confidence since having children. I would never have dared bare all on my blog prior to having them but now I love it! The blogging world is amazing, I’m so glad I’m a part of it! Thanks so much for linking up to #Blogstravaganza, hope to see you again next week xx

    • Reply sarahsurreymama March 27, 2017 at 8:44 am

      Thanks! Nor would I, I think you care a little less about things don’t you, I don’t have enough time to worry ? xx

  • Reply Em Linthorpe March 28, 2017 at 11:27 am

    Hi! Well done for breaking through your comfort zone – and good luck with your blogging and *gasp* vlogging too! Now that seriously takes some guts lady! #PostsF

    • Reply sarahsurreymama March 28, 2017 at 12:50 pm

      Just saw your second message haha! That happens to me… Thanks so much x

  • Reply Em Linthorpe March 28, 2017 at 11:28 am

    Toddler jumped on me! Haha! Was just about to say #PostsFromTheHeart ❤?

  • Reply aliduke79hotmailcom March 29, 2017 at 5:45 pm

    It is great that your confidence is growing. I find mine is bit by bit through blogging and vlogging. And yes I get that sick feeling when hitting publish. No I don’t know how to deal with it lol.
    #KCACOLS

    • Reply sarahsurreymama March 29, 2017 at 6:11 pm

      Haha! I suppose it’s a bit like actors who get stage fright however long they’ve been doing it? Thanks for reading xx

  • Reply Helena March 30, 2017 at 11:51 am

    It is only natural to be nervous but feel the fear and go for it. Everyone from celebs to everyday people feel this. #PostsFromTheHeart

  • Reply Amie Richards March 31, 2017 at 1:25 pm

    I love blogging and am trying to find the confidence to start vlogging properly but I’m feeling to nervous if what people think of me and how different I sound and whether I look okay. Confidence has always been something I’ve struggled with but I agree with children completely changing that.
    Thanks so much for linking up at #KCACOLS. Hope you come back again next Sunday

  • Reply For the love of jars (@4theloveofjars) March 31, 2017 at 8:32 pm

    It’s amazing how much your outlook changes when you become a parent. Before being a Mum I would have hated standing up in front of people and talking but now I am quite at home with public speaking. I’ve learnt not to care what people think and it’s purely down to that deep feeling of knowing that nothing matters more than my family. #postsfromtheheart

    • Reply sarahsurreymama April 4, 2017 at 8:38 pm

      Very true and I totally agree. Thanks for reading z

  • Reply Scandi Mummy April 1, 2017 at 5:54 pm

    I think most can relate but it does get easier the more you do it. I love it and I’ve seen such progress and I’ve learned so much from blogging/vlogging which spurs me on #KCACOLS

    Nadia x

    • Reply sarahsurreymama April 4, 2017 at 8:37 pm

      Thanks for reading, I’m learning so much as well it’s brilliant. X

  • Reply Jo - Mother of Teenagers April 1, 2017 at 8:39 pm

    Your blog or vlog is your personal publishing paradise. Go for it, don’t worry about what others think. It is your platform. #postsfromtheheart

  • Reply Mummy Times Two April 2, 2017 at 4:51 pm

    I get this totally, and it’s one of the biggest reasons that I still blog anonymously. I wonder if one day I will be brave enough to wake up and tell the world, I guess maybe at the point where I feel that my blog is successful (whatever that means). Thank you so much for making me feel as though my insecurities are shared and for joining us at #PostsFromTheHeart

    • Reply sarahsurreymama April 4, 2017 at 8:35 pm

      I know what you mean about successful. I think you’ll know when it’s right to share. Xx

  • Reply memyselfandamelia April 18, 2017 at 9:20 pm

    your confidence and honesty is amazing

  • Reply RachelSwirl April 24, 2017 at 8:43 pm

    I sometimes worry about putting myself out there but I guess it’s a confidence thing really… So proud of your confidence and honesty x

  • Reply mummuddlingthrough May 4, 2017 at 8:52 pm

    As I approach my two year blog birthday I STILL try and keep the mindset ‘write like no ones reading’ and I’m super cagey about sharing my blog URL with my real life network (especially the more distant ones).
    Ultimately, blogging can and will feel a bit weird at times, but strangely that’s all part of the excitement. A popular post normally gives you the spur you need to keep going!
    Thanks for linking to #coolmumclub

    • Reply sarahsurreymama May 21, 2017 at 7:34 pm

      I totally agree, I always feel spurred on after one has gone well. Congrats on reaching 2 years x

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