As we walked hand in hand across the green, searching for the perfect shady spot to lay our picnic mat Amelie said ‘Mummy I can’t wait, I’m so excited’ and my heart broke.
I picked up Amelie from preschool yesterday and knew we had a half an hour window together before we had to pick her sister up. Usually, we have lunch with my sister and her two little ones but something has been playing on my mind recently and that’s making sure I’ve been having quality time with Amelie.
I’ll be honest and say that over the last few months I don’t think we have.
When she has a rest at lunch when Evie naps I work. At the weekends we spend time as a four. On holiday we were a four.
There is never any Mummy and Amelie time. There is Mummy and Evie time, but no time with my eldest and that’s been making me sad. I’m also quite sure she’s been missing it as well.
Life with two can be chaotic. I thought it was chaotic in the early days, but looking back it was almost easier. When Evie slept (regularly) Amelie and I had time together. When Evie had a lunchtime nap, so did Amelie and I had time to work or do the jobs.
Now Amelie doesn’t nap, Evie is as demanding of my time as Amelie, they both want to hold my hand, cuddle me and have me to themselves all the time and my balance is off.
I don’t have any time for me or feel like I’m having any time for them individually and I think both are really important for me as well as them.
So things are going to change.
This Summer I am going to have more moments with Amelie where she tells me ‘she’s so excited’ and I’m also going to have them with Evie…
- Once a week I’ll ditch my laptop when it’s Amelie’s rest time and bake cakes or do a painting with her
- I’ll make sure I have a whole morning with Amelie and a whole morning with Evie (when the other is at childminders)
- When family are here to help I’ll make sure I devote one on one time to each of them
Here’s to more family moments but more individual moments as well.