I don’t want her to go.

May 29, 2018

I don’t want you to go to school, I do, just not yet. Maybe in a few years?… Even in the early days, the thought of the school years seemed so far off. I heard people talk about their nerves with their little ones starting and I thought – it’ll be years until she goes.

Oh, but doesn’t time fly and here we are, t minus 3 months and I know they’ll fly as well. I am frantically making a list of things we need to do together!
I think about that first day and feel a bit sick, there’s a lump in my throat and definitely a few tears in my eyes. I’d never say it out loud but I’m shouting ‘I’m not ready for this change’!

At the first school meeting the other night they recommended that the crying parents get as far away as possible before they get the tissues out. I’m 100% going to be one of them so I’ll be planning my escape route ASAP. (I’m pretty sure I am not alone as there were a few people looking just like I was).

When I think about why I’m so nervous and sad I suppose it’s because it’s an end of an era. The baby and toddler days are definitely over and my baby will be turning into a real little girl. I mean she is already, I’ve seen her grow into a beautiful little girl, but the start of school really cements that change. When I’ve heard people talk about the first year I always seem to tune in to the parts where they say their children changed massively and I am not sure I’m ready for Amelie to change.

The baby days have their worries, don’t they? Have they eaten enough, is the sniffle something worse? But the move to childhood worries makes me nervous all over again. Nervous of the unknown.

Don’t get me wrong, I’m filled with excitement for her, it’s a wonderful school, she’ll have friends she knows there and I know she’ll love it. But when I think of the time she’ll be there I’m back to worrying Mum.

Motherhood for me has been a journey, a steep learning curve and something you can’t learn in an NCT class so I’m sure as with everything Motherhood has thrown at me I’ll adjust, learn on the job and it’ll be fine in the end but just let me have a few (hidden) tears until September.

All I want and ultimately we all want is for our children to be happy and I just hope she will be as she grows into her new environment. We’ll be doing everything this end to make sure she does, so I’m keeping positive and hope on that first day or after the first term she comes out with a big smile on her face.

Do you have a little one starting in September? How are you feeling about it?
Sarah x

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