As I sit here and write this my little girl, my first born is having her first full day at pre-school and I’m going to be honest here, I may have had a little cry!
‘Don’t be ridiculous’ people will say, ‘it’s only a day’, ‘she’ll be back in a few hours,’ ‘it’s only a few hours more than normal’.
I know this, my rational head is saying the same, but my emotional (I’ve been up at 5am for the last few mornings, thanks baby number two) is saying that this marks the end of her toddler years. The years when you spend the most amount of time together and Mummy (in my case) is your World.
The start of her full days has also coincided with me going to see our first choice school this week and submitting her application to start reception in September. I wrote on my Instagram recently that I was struggling with the fact she would be going to school this September, almost trying to ignore the fact. She’s a summer baby and seems so little compared to her peers, I do worry about her and how she’ll settle, but it’s something we all have to do and our children have to do, it’s about finding the right place for them to flourish.
There has been a lot that’s sparked a sadness about what’s to come this year. I’m sad because what has become a wonderful side kick, friend and a little person that brightens my days is going to be gone for a large chunk of the week. She might drive me mad at times, but I’m definitely going to miss her! I’m nervous as well. I worry about her being a summer born and hope she’ll settle at school OK. But mostly I’m sad because this new chapter means the baby and toddler years are over for us.
But, it’s not all about me, I know that for her to develop she has to move forward and I would never want to hold her back. I see now there will be many times like this when she has to move onto the next stage, high school, University, going travelling, so I’m also excited for her. I’m eager to see her spread wings, for her to make new friends and for her to learn. I know deep down she’ll thrive and she probably won’t miss me the way I’ll miss her.
So for me the next few months will be about making peace with the fact our baby and toddler days are over, about spending lots of time together and feeling how lucky I am that I’ve been able to have this extra time with her.
It’s a rollercoaster this parenting thing sometimes, but that’s the fun of it – it’s about learning and growing together and I can’t wait to see what the future holds for my little ones.
If you have a little one starting school soon how are you feeling about it?