Lifestyle Mama You Can

Mama You Can: Confidence 

July 4, 2017
mama you can confidence

As part of my new found blogging career one of the things I am really having to focus on is confidence.

I’ve started to attend events which is fantastic, but often walking into a room of people who all know each other can be really daunting!

All the thoughts go through your mind – what will they think of me, will anyone talk to me, will they think I’m a fraud?

It’s scary, but it’s one of those things where the benefits can outweigh the initial nerve-racking minutes!

I attended an event a few months ago, run by the lovely Sunita, a Lucky Things meet up. It was a fantastic and inspiring event, I met so many bloggers that I may not have usually met and it gave me new friendships, insight into the blogging world that I didn’t have before and a better connection with some of the people I chat to regularly online. I’m so glad I went!

Hi, I’m Sarah…

The second event where I took myself out of my comfort zone was attending a press event recently. Again I was on my own and the people and brands there were ones I hadn’t met before. I decided to get chatting and chat to anyone that was near me (as walking round a room on your own is fairly boring). I was nervous introducing myself, but it was so good to speak to new people and there were some really interesting stories and characters.

But as I jumped on the tube home I got a pang of worry, you know when you look back at something you’ve done and worry? I thought about the conversations I had and all was absolutely fine apart from one tiny little detail, the way I had talked about myself.

I didn’t really think about it at the time, I was nervous and just talking but when I re-ran the conversations my logical and business head wondered what on earth I was saying!

To give you an idea of some of the things I said…

  • Oh I’m only a new blogger
  • You probably haven’t heard of me
  • I’m quite a small blogger

Why did I say these things? Confidence. Confidence in myself and my abilities.

As I sat on the tube writing this, it occurred to me that it really didn’t matter that I’m a new blogger, everyone has to start somewhere, right? I’m pretty sure all the big bloggers had a few thousand monthly views at some point. I might be a small blogger, but I work hard and I have a really lovely community, that still makes me important to some. Finally, and the one that really annoyed me, was ‘you probably haven’t heard of me’ well they have now and what I really should have said was ‘Hi, I’m Sarah and this is what I do’.

You’re amazing

I’ve noticed over the years I’m very good at telling people when they do something amazing, but not very good at either taking a compliment or talking about myself in a positive way.

I’ve noticed it from others (women mainly) as well. When we’re told how wonderful something we’ve done is or how great we look, we often don’t say thanks – we almost apologise for the fact we’ve done something well.

Why do I do this? Confidence. Confidence in myself and my abilities.

Moving onwards…

As you can see there is a real trend here, my confidence in myself is something that changes not only the way I talk about myself, but the way I feel about going to events that I should be really excited about.

I know that I am not alone, when you tell close friends this, often the response shocks me – they are also nervous about attending work trips or events, even though they seem like the most confident of people.

As with everything on my blogging journey, I’m learning as I go and this for me was a big learning curve. I might have cracked the confidence to go to events on my own but I also need to find the confidence in myself and what I do and to give myself a pat on the back and congratulate myself when something I have worked hard on does well.

It certainly doesn’t mean I am over confident, far from it, but we should celebrate our achievements more as I can guarantee other people will with theirs.

mama you can confidence

My top tips

If you’re starting out and you are going to go to events here are my top tips:

  • Find out if anyone you know, even through chatting on Twitter or Instagram are going to an event you are. Organise to meet them beforehand. They might also be in the same boat and will be pleased for the company.
  • When you go to an event, don’t be scared to talk to people – you never know what you might learn and who you might meet. Not everyone will become your best friend, but without putting yourself out there and saying hello, you’ll never know!
  • Be confident, you might be talking to someone who really wants to work with you in the future.
  • I truly believe that a lot of opportunities in life come through friendships and meeting new people. If we don’t get out there, how will we know what there is waiting for us, so treat these things as an exciting opportunity.

I’ll be reading these tips and reminding myself of them at the next event I go to.

Enjoy.

Sarah

xx

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13 Comments

  • Reply Victoria - Lylia Rose July 4, 2017 at 9:51 am

    You are much braver than me! I haven’t attended any in person events yet! I get the feeling like a fraud and I now understand the phrase ‘winging it’ as it feels like what I’m doing sometimes!
    The one thing I realised just last week is I do know quite a lot about websites and blogging. My husband has set up a blog and even though it’s on a different platform to mine, I’ve been able to offer him so much advice and troubleshoot his queries just from all the knowledge I have built up over the years! It’s moments like these I realise I am actually very knowledgeable about my field and perhaps not quite a fraud after all!

    • Reply Sarah July 8, 2017 at 8:02 pm

      You definitely can’t be a fraud, I love your blog and totally agree you know your trade! I am totally winging it with most things, but wing it with confidence and no one will be the wiser right?! X

  • Reply Helen @Talking_Mums July 10, 2017 at 11:37 am

    You are so brave to attend these gatherings but the more you do the less daunting they’ll become. We are so bad at praising ourselves aren’t we and I’m particularly bad at accepting praise too. My friend complimented me on my writing and I still think (convinced myself) that she was just trying to be nice. I still can’t believe that anyone actually reads my blog!
    #Blogstravaganza

  • Reply The Tale of Mummyhood July 10, 2017 at 11:49 am

    I love your tips. Confidence can be so difficult to achieve sometimes! Thanks so much for sharing such a fab post with #Blogstravaganza xx

  • Reply The Daisy Pages July 10, 2017 at 4:56 pm

    Some great tips there. It can be so daunting going to new events and it sounds like you’re doing really well 🙂

    • Reply Sarah July 10, 2017 at 5:33 pm

      Thanks! It really can x

  • Reply kristin mccarthy July 12, 2017 at 1:52 am

    I always downplay myself and my blog- habit

    #dreamteam

    • Reply Sarah July 14, 2017 at 1:03 pm

      But we so shouldn’t should we! We all work so hard on what we do xx

  • Reply Jess Haworth July 12, 2017 at 6:52 pm

    Imposter Syndrome – it’s such a pain! It took me months to get to grips with feeling really empowered about saying exactly what I do proudly and with true strength. Ironically, given that I train people in self-awareness and making an impact, I still find networking the most nerve wracking part of what I do. My top tip for anyone is always to greet the situation in the knowledge that your body reacts physically the same way whether you’re nervous or whether you’re excited. So, just repeat to yourself, “I feel like this because I’m excited to be here”. It sounds daft, but I swear, with time it really does work. And Sarah, having known you for many many years, anyone would be thrilled to spend time with you so you have absolutely nothing to be scared of! xxx

  • Reply Annette, 3 Little Buttons July 16, 2017 at 7:17 pm

    These are such fab tips Sarah, and well done on getting out there. Events can be a bit scary can’t they. Especially when you don’t know a single person or feel very new to something. It’s funny you say that you are ‘only a new blogger’, I say something similar if any friends or family ask me about the blog… I say – oh it’s just a a blog. But we know that we are not ‘only’ new bloggers, and it’s not ‘just’ a blog. Here’s to building confidence. #DreamTeam x

    • Reply Sarah July 18, 2017 at 4:20 am

      Thank you, yes they definitely can, but each one I go to makes the next a little easier! It’s definitely not just a blog is it! X

  • Reply Kirsty Dee July 18, 2017 at 1:26 pm

    Gosh I’m terrible for saying things like that too! Must work on this x

    • Reply Sarah July 20, 2017 at 6:04 am

      I went to an event last night, nearly said it and then stopped myself! X

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