When toddlers act like they’re drunk

May 7, 2017

Amelie is very lucky to have a cousin that lives down the road who is close to her in age. They are a year apart and as such are very close, they’re like sisters, which inevitably means fighting over toys, winding each other up but of course cuddles!

It occurred to me recently as they both rolled around on the grass giggling like maniacs how much toddlers can often act like they’re drunk. Not your paralytic / being sick drunks, but the ones who sometimes like me have had a bottle or two of wine  a few drinks and suddenly think they are comedians / a pro-dancer / develop a super natural confidence!


*Before I start a little disclaimer – this is all for a giggle and my toddler is never actually drunk!*

So now that’s sorted here are some of the ways my toddler has reminded me of being drunk recently…

Give me food, any food

You know when you’ve had a good night out and manage to stumble home only to realise you are starving and I mean starving like you haven’t eaten for a month. A salad won’t do, you need a bacon sandwich / cheese on toast, basically anything that can be grilled AKA a potential fire hazard. The more dangerous the meal the better because you are inevitably going to fall asleep on the sofa whilst your sausages cook.

Well toddlers are the same. You get in from a day out and they are starving. Obviously they can’t wait for your healthy home cooked meal so they raid every cupboard looking for food, any food. That packet of breadsticks you really should have thrown away two months ago – they want them and they want them NOW. So of course, to avoid a potential over tired tantrum you give in and give them what they want and your lovingly cooked meal – in the bin.

Running away…

We all have that friend when we’re out, they tell you they are off to the toilets and they’re not seen again until the next day. Now generally toddlers don’t go vanishing in bars but they do have an amazing ability to make a break for freedom whenever you are in a remotely busy place. A shopping centre, market, theme park – anywhere there are crowds of people. They see their opportunity and they run like you’ve never seen them run before…

They see me rollin’

I am a bit of a liability when drunk, to be honest I’m surprised I’ve never broken anything because given me a few drinks and my legs turn to jelly.

Toddlers are the same, theyre not fuelled by alcohol, usually by tiredness. Suddenly they wobble all over the place, tables are the right height for their heads and you spend the day shouting ‘Amelie, watch for that table’, ‘Amelie look where you’re going’.

Sound like a little one you know?

Jumping for joy to songs

We went to The Medicine Gardens last week for their Spring Fayre and they had live music. Amelie and her cousin immediately took to the floor and were jumping up and down, crawling towards the stage and generally loving life!

It’s like being at a gig or a nightclub (do they even exist anymore) when you’ve had a few drinks; you’re jumping for joy, you’re desperate to be at the front – because hey that’s where the cool kids are and you think you are an extra from dirty dancing!! Definitely just like toddlers.

Up and down like a yo-yo

I’ll admit it, my toddler scares me. I often don’t know what kind of mood or response I’ll get from her – a bit like someone that is drunk, are they going to laugh or cry, who knows?!

Amelie can wake up from naps and either want a lovely long cuddle or she can wake up and tell me to leave the room. I just don’t know what to do!!!


It’s not just me that thinks all of the above, I asked some fellow bloggers what they thought and I’m not alone…

Here are some of their thoughts:

Intrepid Bebe

Toddler bed time in our household typically involves a rollercoaster of emotions. Often there’s spilt drinks, a naked dash across the landing, not uncommonly tears and occasionally if it’s really gone badly; vomit. I could be describing Saturday night in Wetherspoons. One minute she’s bouncing on the bed with manic laughter, the next she’s wailing over the ice cream she has lost (which never existed). Suddenly she’s declaring her undying love and stroking my face “awww mummmmeeee love you mummmmeee” and then she is putting a nappy on her head and the jumping begins again. Eventually she will pass out, leaving the carnage in her wake. Not at all reminiscent of the nights of of her Mother circa 2005….

Jo from


I have often thought kids are like drunk people! Some days I think they hide it well and others they truly show their depths of Toddlerholicism. One minute they will be stood upright and the next they’re on the floor. I swear they are a real life Only Falls and Horses sketch. Plus any little piece of music that comes on the TV makes them ‘catch the rhythm’. And don’t you dare tell them they a) can’t sing or b) don’t know the words….. you’ll start a fight. I’m never too sure if I should be proud of their ‘can do’ attitude to dancing and singing. Or ashamed of the fact that they remind me of my former 22 year old self in a club at 2 am after one (or a few) too many luminous blue delights. `

Kirsty from

Media Mummy

When my little boy and his best mate were 2, they went through a phase of hiding in a different room, getting naked and giggling as they ran in to find us, saying ‘we go ‘wimming!’ and jumping on the ground, pretending to swim totally starkers and not giving a flying fook about anyone else. Having the best time ever. There’s something about the total lack of self-consciousness and uncontrollable laughter that reminds me of pissed grown ups. That and the fact that my bloke mates at uni enjoyed getting naked for no reason in public. 

(I also think it’s the hands up high for balance and staggering that makes any 1 – 2 year old look drunk! Hilarious.)

Kimberly from
Young Mama and Rosie

Rosie is a big lover of singing and dancing and even though we have very little words out of her, she’s definitely not shy of putting on a good performance. So she’s that sort of drunk and I suppose the apple doesn’t fall far from the tree! The singing which isn’t really singing, just noise, and the dancing which reminds me of when I first turned 18 and stumbled out of a club at 2 in the morning. I was and still am a big lover of  singing and dancing, and with a few drinks I almost think I’m Beyonce. With a my little Posie, who is the biggest diva ever, she’s like my drunk mini me with way to much sass. 
Without the great performances, which I get a few times a day, I am still looking after a tiny little drunken human being. It’s those little things like being able to nap anywhere (even with food in her mouth), no co-ordination, running into objects, or constantly looking for food which is another reminder of the Friday nights out and 3am kebabs with one shoe on and hair all over the place. 

Should we be more like toddlers and be a little more drunk (without the booze)?

I had so much fun writing this and hearing what other bloggers had to say, but on a more serious note it occurred to me that really toddlers and drunk people (not the being sick part but the loving life part) could actually teach us something.
We can be so busy, caught up in the moment, stressed with work – but maybe we should jump for joy with our children, roll in the grass with them, let them eat snacks because life too short and hey they’ll only be little once!
Have your toddlers acted like they are drunk? I’d love to hear your stories!
Sarah xx
R is for Hoppit

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  • Reply keepmum May 7, 2017 at 11:13 pm

    Totally agree, toddlers can definitely behave like drunks!
    Especially agree with the rollercoaster of emotions, I love you/ I hate you/ I’m now being sick/ lets dance MORE!
    Very much agree that life is too short too! So, upon reflection- do we drink in order to recapture our childhoods and become more “toddler-like”?
    Great Post xx

  • Reply thetaleofmummyhood May 8, 2017 at 8:20 am

    This is so true, I’ve often said my two look like they’re drunk with their antics! Thanks so much for linking up to #Blogstravaganza and for a giggle! xx

    • Reply sarahsurreymama May 14, 2017 at 11:44 am

      Thanks! Haha, I think they’re all a bit like it aren’t they xx

  • Reply Angela Watling May 8, 2017 at 8:52 pm

    I completely agree that toddlers are just so uninhibited that they are probably the truest humans you’ll ever meet. I guess the fact that adults do silly things when they are drunk show that deep inside us we want to be a bit more playful and joke around. It’s just a shame that as adults we can’t embrace that side of ourselves sometimes without having had a tipple. We really do need to chill out a bit more. I walk into enough things through my own clumsiness though so I might give that one a miss…. #MarvMondays

    • Reply sarahsurreymama May 14, 2017 at 11:43 am

      Haha I am pretty clumsy as well! I agree we should definitely be more ‘drunk’ without the substance xx

  • Reply Ame May 9, 2017 at 8:35 am

    Ha! Bedtime is like my husband trying to get me to leave a club at midnight. “It’s too early to sleep/leave” – “One more book/song” – “Whohooo, this is my favourite book/song” – “Just a bit more jumping on the bed/dancefloor”…
    I’d like to think pre-baby-clubbing Me was just prepping him for the toddler era 🙂

    • Reply sarahsurreymama May 14, 2017 at 11:42 am

      Hahahaha so true! It’s like they are taking on our pre-parent selves x

  • Reply Pass the wine please May 11, 2017 at 10:09 am

    Lol love the photos! It’s all so true – the mood swings, the irrational behaviour, stumbling about the place giggling away to themselves! #CoolMumClub

  • Reply mummuddlingthrough May 11, 2017 at 8:23 pm

    Ha ha so true and so funny – I never thought of that before! I see it inthe cray-cray giggles sometimes, and then other times in the grunts and go aways of a moody drunk (who just woke up from a nap!)
    Thanks for sharing with #coolmumclub

    • Reply sarahsurreymama May 14, 2017 at 11:40 am

      So true about the grumpy nap time wake ups! She’s been so grumpy when woken up on holiday! X

  • Reply Alana - Burnished Chaos May 18, 2017 at 8:43 pm

    Oh my god this is so true. I’m not going to be able to sit through toddler group with a straight face ever again ?

  • Reply oldhouseintheshires May 19, 2017 at 6:27 pm

    Brilliant! You reminded me of a time when my son and his friend (they were about 2) would run into the wall in the hallway and then fall over hysterically laughing! It was bonkers and brilliant! They did that for about 20 minutes! #FridayFrolics

  • Reply twotinyhands May 19, 2017 at 6:50 pm

    Ha ha love the disclaimer first of all!! Totally agree about them acting drunk and care free. We get a lot of screaming in the streets which is totally drunk worthy!!

    ‪Thank you for linking up to the #familyfunlinky‬

    • Reply sarahsurreymama May 19, 2017 at 11:12 pm

      Haha yes we have had screaming as well ? thanks for reading x

  • Reply barriebismark May 20, 2017 at 6:33 pm

    YES! They are tiny drunk people. All of these are accurate. Too bad they stay drunk and don’t get over it in the morning!

    • Reply sarahsurreymama May 21, 2017 at 6:51 pm

      Haha! Yes definitely but could you imagine their hangovers?! ?

  • Reply Life Love and Dirty Dishes May 22, 2017 at 12:17 pm

    When my toddler refuses point blank to wear his coat. It reminds me of queuing up for clubs in January in the freezing cold with no coat. Coats are for losers! Thanks for linking up to #FridayFrolics

    • Reply sarahsurreymama May 23, 2017 at 10:23 am

      Hahahaha so true! I forgot about that ‘cool’ stage I went through x

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